Instead of handing over the keys to you and seeing you laughing and proud and enjoying your birthday, I looked out and saw the truck sitting in my driveway. A reminder of the two men in my life I had lost.
I came to a realization on your birthday. I realized I was no longer crying because I was worried about you. I have come to know you are in a far better place than we are on earth. Your 16th birthday was spent in a beautiful place and you were happy. No, I no longer cry out of worry for you. I cry because I can no longer hear you or see you or touch you. I cry out of selfishness. I cry because sometime it's hard to believe I had a son and that I didn't just make you up. I cry because I see all the people that care about you trying to understand.
There are so many people whose lives your death has left an emptiness inside of. A void no one else will ever be able to fill. You touched the lives of more people than I ever even imagined.
I received a phone call on your birthday from Tiffany. I have never met her, yet she emailed me after your death. She had known it was your birthday because of the web site and was calling just to make sure I was OK.
Dusty, Sayed, Wes & Erin went to your gravesite, then came by the house and stayed for a few hours.
We watched movies of you playing baseball. You were catcher. You were right in front of the camera. We could hear you calling out to the team letting them know where the runners were and what bases to watch. A few times, when you missed the ball, you would throw your headgear off and run for the ball...right straight toward the camera. It was like I could reach out and touch you. I never thought, when I was filming your games, they would be all I would have left of your movements and voice.
Some of the tapes, you could hear your Dad in the background hollering out "Go Bobby". They are so precious to me now.
Aunt Kay sent me a card the night before so I would wake up and see it when I got on the computer the morning of your birthday.
Esther called to make sure I was OK and Rita came by. Mike came and stayed the night with me so I wouldn't be alone.
Christi called to make sure I didn't need her and Jacob to come over. Amy had called that morning also to make sure I was OK.
I have so many angels God has given me. So many people who care.
And, the most amazing of all, are the kids. Some who seem to always be in trouble and whose parents are still going through what I went through with you. Yet they take the time to make sure I am OK. Even sit through home videos without saying a word about having to leave until I turn them off and they know I am OK. These were your friends, Bobby. I'm proud of you for having them as your friends and for being such a good friend to them.